Dating in September of 2020
Well, 2020 has been an interesting one thats for sure. There is a lot, like, a lot going on in the world right now. That being said, I have taken a gigantic step back from dating in 2020. I haven't been on a date since February... It's the end of September and that just sounds insane. It's been really hard for a lot of people including myself not being able to move forward with our lives.
Because of COVID and everything else going on, our dating lives all came to a screeching halt... I and all of my friends had hard boundaries around not dating for so many reasons. Some of those reasons are (but are not limited to): not knowing where these other people have been, not wanting to get sick, not wanting to get our families sick, places not being open and so much more.
Now that things have been open for a while I wanted to dip my toes back into the dating field but I did have a few hesitations. I am still really worried about if these guys are being safe... If Im only seeing one new person every two weeks are they doing the same? Ugh, dating was so complicated before COVID, now it's even more complicated...
First, lets talk about some just overall issues with dating these days... I am a millennial and I can honestly, we SUCK at dating and for some reason its so crazy complicated.
There is ghosting. Its happened to me before, its happened to my friends and it'll happen again. I sorta get why it happens but how hard is it to just say "hey I'm not into it..."
Sex, sex, sex... It's something most of us are without these days but I don't need our first conversation to straight up be about sex. Scratch that, I don't need you to ask me if I'll lick you a** hole right after we decide to meet for a date (I didn't end up going out with that guy. Also per the NYC safe sex guidelines, thats not advised these days) LOL. I at this point am also not just looking for someone to bang, I want a relationship (I think).
Emotions are apparently a no no. It seems that literally no guys have emotions these days, they don't care, not sure if its because its cool or because they don't care or because there are so many options. Regardless, it's not cool to show emotions, even as a girl, whenever I do it seems to freak them out...
It's all about strategy. We are to f^cking careful about what we say and when. We care too much about oh well Im going to wait to respond, or oh how does this sound. You know what, screw that, why can't we just have a conversation??? Why can't I respond right away if I'm on my phone anyway? Whats wrong with all of that?
Is a dreamboat really out there? I don't know, are the hopes too high, is there a fake prince charming in my head thats not real? Because there are soooo many options am I too picky about who I swipe on, or am I not being picky enough. What is the reality?
Options on options on options. Where am I supposed to meet someone? Bumble, tinder, the league, coffee meets bagel, hinge? Thats 5 dating apps out of who knows how many out there? To be honest, the last decent relationship I had I met organically, not on the apps. I'd way rather meet someone like that but, well... 1 COVID is a thing so no one is meeting people these days... 2 because of the apps I don't think people (men) know how to go up to each other and just talk anymore.
Is it okay to be alone? I mean, in COVID times I feel like it's 100% okay to be alone. At this point I'm totally cool being alone most of the time, I do go through moments where I want to have a partner. Most of the time I love being alone and love how independent I am... I guess that could hurt me in the end.
Are we or aren't we... The continuous ambiguity of things. How often are you dating someone and feel like you are in a lavalamp of ambiguity? Well, I feel like thats me all the time until I get ghosted. It's like it's a bad thing to stop having options so you can't bring up that "talk" and if you do (as a girl at least) you are crazy.
Hurt feelings, so what? because it is so easy to ghost someone these days its also super easy to hurt someone and walk away like they never existed.
Chivalry is dead. I am not the type of girl that needs a guy to make a eservation, pull out the chair for me and all that stuff (granted that is nice). I am about some human decency... I sort of begrudgingly went out with a guy ive known for years. We were supposed to meet at 8... he shows up at 8:35. I was nursing a beer but if I finished it before he got there I would have left. He did tell me he was "trying to park" but for over 30 minutes, come on man. Anyway, he shows up half apologizes for being late. Honestly, the conversation was lack luster and I may have just been irritated so not want to be super into it. Anyway, we finish our drinks and the bill comes, he looks at me and goes "so do you want to pay and I'll venmo you". I'm sorry, what world do you ask someone out to drinks (as a date) show up late then ask to split the check? I am all about paying for part but not when you show up that late. Anyway, I ended up giving him cash (more than enough to cover my drink and a good tip) he paid the poor waitress a $2 tip... We leave the bar and I said "I'm going to turn here and go home" he replies with "yeah lets go to your place"... no no no my friend, I'm going home, I don't know where nor do I care where your going...
Overall, dating sucks and now its even more annoying with everything going on. Maybe I have trust issues or who knows what it is... I feel really stuck on what to do, so for now, I'll keep swiping and maybe someone will sweep me off my feet, or just put up with me.
Send me your best "worst" dating stories!