RHONY S12 E04 (Ain't No Party Like a Hamptons Party)
The ladies are still in the Hamptons at Ramonas house and things are just about to shake up. We left the women stunned with Luanns "goodnight from the lower level" email sign off, and some teasers for this week!
Thankfully, we pick right back up with "goodnight from the lower level" Ramona calls Luann to half ass apologize for not giving her a better room... Again missing the point and proving Ramona doesn't use her brain. the women don't want to go to another bougie party with Ramonas rich friends, they want to stay in and chill... and lets be real, that sets us up for another glorious episode.
Ramonas tennis pro is a total, babe. If he's single, tell him to call me. as long as he hasn't banged Ramona or Lu. But honestly, Ramona is horrible at tennis, as someone who's ex husband was great at tennis, has a tennis court in her backyard and has a tennis coach, I expected a lot more. I played when I was younger and every so often now, I can confidently say I would kick her ass (and happily take her tennis pro and her L'Etoile skirt). Luann on the other hand, is pretty decent shed be fun to play with. The match between them was absolutely laughable, ramona doesn't know what a stroke is, Lu is too competitive to play nice, Ramona shows her ass to the tennis pro... I LOVE after the tennis match, Luann is typical Lu and asks the tennis pros love life and says "you never know, you could meet your love today" his response "not today". AMAZING
Let's go back to Ramonas poor manners. She snaps at Leah for "forgetting" to set the table with silverware, when her housekeeper already had the silverware int he napkins. It feels more like the women are working for ramona than staying with ramona. I just want to know what Ramona is diagnosed with so we can get her the correct meds. She's so blatantly rude to everyone about everything, does she not know what a hostess is supposed to do? Perhaps she should ask Dorinda for some guidance. I actually find it entertaining and sad at this pint the Ramona behaves the way she does.
Continuing with poor manners from Ramona. At lunch she brings back her game of sharing venerable moments but only asks Lu to share and none of the other girls. I actually felt for Lu when she shares that she is finding it hard not to drink... I don't think she was an alcoholic, I think she went through a hard time the last few years. It's nice that Lu feels comfortable finally being honest with the women. I do know she drinks this season, I am very curious to see when she breaks that and when it happens. For now, I'm glad she's sticking to not drinking because she wants to and is just watching the festivites with the other women. Yes Lu, you look like this when you drink too, have you not watched the episodes back?
I do feel bad that Sonja is hung up on her ex, I think its more of the life she used to live and not so much her ex... because you know, she married the bank. Anyway, she feels the need to have a dog groomer to go to Ramonas house. Man number two of the day Luann wants to f^ck. Good for these hot men, why not go work in the Hamptons and get some nice tips from the old bored women. Lu tries to "help" the dog groomer, Ramona is upset she cant get in on the action and Sonja is encouraging all of it. Lu, I'm sorry but you don't need the dog groomer to massage you... Im sure hell be making a call to Lu's house for other services...
All the women except Ramona are excited about missing the party later that night. The women look nice and cute for their relaxing dinner, and are all expecting a tame girls dinner. Little do they know, Ramona invited a few men but only one showed up. Of course, he already has Lu's number but she has no recollection of meeting him and doesn't think shed give him her real number. At least she still has standards...
Based off of the previews Im not so sure Ramona should have lit the fire & I'm not so sure Tinsley should have encouraged Leahs drinking... Soon enough the women turn the chill girls night into OLD (you know, Omega Lamda Delta fraternity). Luann is beyond thrilled she's not drinking. Sonja has her vibrator out in the kitchen, the one male guest leaves and we really turn up. Dornida calls Ramona out for being a b^tch about John (although to be fair Dorinda and John aren't together in real life but it's not Ramonas place to comment). As thats happening Leah & Tinsley get naked (you know because they are tired of hearing about Yachts & the bougie b^tches) In the pool, Leah has some personal issues against tiki torches. Sonja, bored of the John conversation, drops the dildo on the counter and heads outside. At this point, Sonja also strips naked (Overall i think the women shouldn't be wearing half of the clothes they wear, I'll happily take them off their hands, although I don't understand why they get naked as often as they do.) & Leah is throwing the tiki torches. Leah throwing Tiki torches naked like a spear is the highlight of the show to me, it made me absolutely burs out laughing and I rewatched the scene a few times.
While all of this is going on, Ramona decides to leave her own house to go to the party she initially wanted to go to. Never in my life have I seen someone so thirsty to get attention and fit in. She really cant miss a party, its pathetic how hard she's trying to fit into a world she just doesn't fit in. As far as I'm concerned, she knows how rowdy the women get so anything goes, man she really needs to call Dorinda for some hosting tips.
There are two levels of action going on, the women in the pool wasted throwing fire & the women in the kitchen debating Dorindas relationship with John. The women from the pool slightly dress and go into the kitchen. Dorinda is pretty sober and tries to get Leah to cover up in the middle of Leah shrieking at Sonja to let go of her ex husband and how she's anti bougie people to begin with. She's gotta get Leah in the bathroom where all issues are healed and Dorinda discovers the wings tattooed on Leah's vagina.
The morning after walk of shame... The house is a f^cking mess, but to be fair, Ramona shouldn't have ever left the house. Granted guests should help tidy up but to leave a vibrator in the chicken is a bit out of the ordinary. Sonja owns her shit but she also throws Leah under the bus with starting the Tiki throwing... Leah def does things extra, she throws tiki torches, but she also cleaned the entire kitchen by herself... Ramona doesn't need her housekeeper if she expects her friends to clean at night like elves. Karma is a b^tch Ramona, remember when you pulled the sconces off of the walls at Bluestone Manner?? If she was really wanted help, she should've left instructions, stayed or told the women to get up and clean.
I cant wait to see what next week brings with the Sonja Morgan Lifestyle Fashion Week show...