Venderpump Rules S8 E15 (Mr. & Mrs Schwartz, take two)
Hello Bravo lovers! What better time than in quarantine to start posting my word vomit thoughts on the Bravo shows I watch starting with Vanderpump Rules!
Let's start with the fun love triangle, square whatever shape it is at this point. Brett & Max - Brett come on bro. Prob not the best idea to go after your boys ex girl, do you really want sloppy seconds on that? But Scheana, don't stir the pot. Bless Dayna for calling Scheana a space cadet, but come on girl I don't know if I'd call her a friend just yet. On the topic of the love shapes. Let's not just blame the boys for going around the restaurant, Dayna is adding to her collection as well. My favorite comment around the topic was "pussy doesn't have a face in this town", ladies, have you met men most of the time pussy doesn't have a face unless the've turned the "ready to settle down" light on.
I want to continue on the new cast members before we get into the good ol' classic cast. I know we need to have some of the cast working in the restaurant but I'm really struggling connecting with the new cast right now. Im not obsessed with the new girls like I am with the classics (Stassi, Katie, Tom, Tom, & so on). I want them to either integrate in with the oldies that I love or really develop friendships with each other and not be forced together by Bravo. I do appreciate Danica pumping Dayna up, that she deserves a better guy that what she's dealing with now. she lost me a bit when she blamed it on the fact that he's a Pieces, granted sometimes its nice blaming the stars for issues. So we can blame it on the stars or just say maybe you shouldn't f^ck your coworkers... Either way bring on the drama because we need it to keep these newbies interesting. Even more interesting when Scheana tries to stir the pot. Bless her for working to stay relevant.
Let's talk about the Queen herself LVP and how goals she is. Everything was goals in the episode starting telling the sales person at Louboutin she already has those shoes. Sorry Lisa, you already have the most expensive shoes in the store, maybe you get a new pair in Vegas or we need to try a different brand.
My next LVP highlight was on their private plane to Vegas. I find it hysterical that she took the dog & the Schwartz's on the plane, she easily could've put everyone on the PJ (thanks Lala Kent for letting us know PJ is Private Jet and not pajamas) but chose not to, to be honest if I could, I'd love to let my dog travel via PJ. Not only that, but she decides to lecture Tom about actually getting married this time and not f^cking it up.
Highlight three from LVP, you rock on girl! It's no secret she has a partnership with Cesars Palace. She's on the key cards, she's got VanderPump Garden & is designing her own suite there. I love it, god I can talk about her for hours but I won't.
My Favorite LVP highlight of the night is her putting her bra in Schwartz's bag! She lets Katie in on the secret to screw with him for a bit, I am DEAD at the fact she wants to f^ck with him. Turns out, he dreams actually came true of it being LVP's bra to begin with, he wants it, he gets it, he wants to keep it. All the men at SUR and I assume just general life are obsessed withe her and I am here for it. God I want to be her friend.
Lets knock through the remaining highlights of LVP in this episode. Lisa attends the wedding, she facetimes max (more on that later), she gets Max to admit he had real feelings for Dayna & she goes zip lining. All hail LVP, god I want to be her friend.
Continuing on the Vegas train. The fact that Lisa's new server looks like Scheana, I am DEAD. Not only does she look like Scheana, she flips her hair and laughs like her too... I just cant.
Speaking of Scheana, ugh girl. I hope your eggs are viable, but I'm super over you. Also, why do you need to tell Kristen that Katie wishes she (meaning Scheana) was there. Now, Kristen is 100% a psychopath and should not be there, but Scheana you know your "friend" is hurt, do you really need to bring it up to her again. That is not a good friend but it does make for entertaining TV. Strike two of the episode stirring the pot Scheana. Girl, its all happening in the pot stirring department...
I really don't want to knock James and his quest for sobriety, I 100% think he has an issue and needs to be sober so I am thrilled he's getting help. Raquel, girl, of course the sex is better when he's not wasted! Seems like he's in week two and gone to two meetings... its better than nothing. Raquel you are a national treasure, you try so so so hard, you go girl. The double date, god that was painful to watch... My jaw was pretty much on the floor the entire time just thinking of everything I'd be saying to the f^ck boy/girl couple of Brett and Dayna and the tweedle twins Raquel and DJ James Kennedy.
Back to Vegas and the original cast (plus Max). Beau talking to Stassi's dad was so flipping cute! Come on Mark, don't make the guy sweat too much. Beau is PERFECT with Stassi, they balance each-other out so well its such goals. I am sooo excited to see the proposal but also love that her dad brought up Beau's initial apprehension to date Stassi like any good father would.
Let's talk about the wedding. 50% of the reason they went to Vegas is to get them "married", the other 50% is to promote the Pump Garden. 100% of the reason they stayed at the Cesars is to promote Pump Garden. I am torn between LOVING the characters they made up for this and a giant eye roll... we had the officiants, Vegas enthusiast, flower girl, rocker bride & cowboy groom... Them getting married again is super cute, they did have some bumps in the road so its a nice time for them to do this again when they are in such a good place (for this episode). LOVE that even though it was Schwartz's fault, he gets his dream wedding of getting shit-faced in Vegas, in what world does that happen. I do feel for Beau when Stassi throws shade at him during the ceremony for not being engaged/married yet. Ugh, we know (and so do most people in the room) that he has a STUNNING ring, her dads permission and the proposal is coming coming! It was cute to have her catch the bouquet, but again, poor Beau. Thank god for a brief 90 seconds the Schwartz's have their marriage license and can go have the class act party thats deserved of a Vegas wedding. Lets fast forward to their dinner at Vanderpump Garden and Beaus quest for proposal part two (yes LVP is there in Cesars whoring herself out like all the good girls do for Pump Gardens, well and of course to celebrate the Schwartz's). My little heart broke when he told Lisa, she is so excited, happy, she knows they are supposed to be together. Even though she thinks proposing in a cemetery is weird, she knows Stassi will love it & wants to be a part of it.
The morning after. I love that we see Stassi and Beau having fun ordering room service before she pangs him with guilt in the marriage department for "Mrs.Clark". LVP way to orchestrate a FaceTime with Max to "see the mess they made in the room". Pan to the bed and see the Scheana doppelgänger, yes girl, we get you are trying to be on the show we get it, you got your whore 15 minutes of fame. Please be less scripted...
The episode wouldn't be complete without Tom Schwartz possibly losing his wedding certificate again. Boo, you just had an entire episode made out of going to Vegas for a combo of your wedding and Pump Garden at Cesars (we get it they stayed for free). I love they show him with it then without it less than 2 minutes later. I hope, one of the camera crew has it... Lisa will KILL him.
I really need them to pick it up, too much of it has been fabricated & forced. PLEASE make it less painful for us... We either need to go back to the authenticity of things & to do that maybe we need to dump the original cast. BUT before we do that, let's have the newbies make their own storylines and not copy whats worked in the past.
Until next time,